Lesson Learned.

"The next time you are called to suffer, pay attention.
It may be the closest you'll ever get to God."
-Max Lucado

People are unfair. Circumstances are unjust. You trusted and you turned out to be fooled. You were honest just to know that somebody was playing pranks on you. How ironic things could be, how people could become so hellaciously obnoxious. I believe, I was called to suffer and I never missed the opportunity of being in deep lamentations. I cried, I poured my heart out, I paid close attention and there I was, I was in the peak of my humanity - I have learned to control my heart. There I was, in the closest position to God. I never knew that it was possible, but it is - it actually is possible. It's only in the dark that I fully understood that my own strength and my own ways were not enough. There and then, I learned that I am nothing without God's hands upholding me near Him. It is only in the dark that one's light could shine brightest.

I could have done something stupid in exchange of what was done to me. But then, I knew that it was not the appropriate response. Terri McPherson once said, “A wise and understanding heart does not repay a hurt with a hurt. In doing so, the heart is diminished. Fissures form. Love leaks out. Every pain given in return for one received, changes the contents of the heart. It is no longer defined by love, wisdom and understanding. It is redefined by the bearers of hurt and hate, pain and prejudice, meanness and madness, sorrow and sadness. You give away control of your very own heart.”

I’m just glad to know that my heart is capable of giving a piece of it to someone unknown by giving away trust. However, it was fooled, it was hurt. Nevertheless, I know, I can say that my heart is something to be proud of. I, now, can control it. I, now, can lead it. Yes, it is wrong to follow my heart because it can deceive me; ergo I decided to take the lead.

“Love is not always warm and fuzzy.
Sometimes it's the integrity we hold on to when we're tempted to strike back.
Sometimes it's the honor that keeps us from exchanging the
valuable contents of our heart
for the harsh satisfaction of lashing back.”
-Terri McPherson

No, you need not sympathize neither show pity for this was not made for that. Writing was never , is never, and will never be intended for that kind of motive. I don’t please readers… I write for the sake of doing it and for the sake of expressing myself in ways that are highly impressionistic imaginative. I do not write to give people vomit of words because that is really awful and pathetic – and I am not awfully pathetic.

Lessons learned tonight will be well-kept in the depths of my being. It will live through as long as there are tomorrows. I know in time, things that are silent will be redeemed and revived, if not soon perhaps later. Time is fleeting that is why there could be no moment of ennui. Dee Edgett said, “The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tight, the best way to keep love is to give it -- WINGS!”

“Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.”
–Psalm 27:14