Heartstrings

06.02.08 7:25PM

I was glaring at the mirror a while ago when suddenly tears rolled down my face. I was staring at myself not knowing who I really am and what I really want. I can be the most hated bratt in the entire universe but being a bratt is simply not who I ought to be. I can also be your ordinary bad girl but I do know that I am not created to be one. And none was solely created to be bad, they just existed the moment they decided who they want to be - whether it's all good or bad.

Well definitely, I don't want to be bratt nor your typical girl and whatsoever bad. I simply want to rediscover myself and my goal as an individual and most importantly as God's servant. Oftentimes, I realize that my friends or the people around me need not to put on me a sash with the "darling of the crowd" label on it for me to decide that I want to be good. But of course, I do thank God for the good friends He showered me with who offer me help and love. What I mean is that I need not lots of people's attention and affection because only a few will do as long as they're genuine and pure.

It somehow pains me that being good is tagged along by the thought that usually all I can do is to keep silent and never explain things to people who will not in a single second understand the things I am fighting for. Still, it's a must to hit them back with more love, understanding, and acts of random kindness for them to be able to comprehend the things I am after to without saying or explaining to them a thing. Sadly, sane people do not know how to be grateful with stuffs like these...

Nevertheless, I'd rather be insane than bad.

: )